So, I meant to write this post last week after he won AFC Offensive Player of the Week, but ended up getting sidetracked by something else and by the time I went to write it, it didn't seem topical anymore. But, with the Ravens coming up and everyone and their brother fighting over the chance to blow Joe Flacco (SFW), I think the time has come to proclaim this for all to hear, JOE FLACCO SUCKS. Phew, glad I got that off my chest. He scares me about as much as my buddy's 8 year old little brother. You know that you can toss him around because he's a little tyke, and you aren't scared of him, but he may hit you with a random nut shot if you aren't paying attention. If you are ready to play Joe Flacco, and prepare for him, he is not going to do shit. But, if you slip up for a little bit, he can toss one over your head to Torrey Smith (punch you in the nuts). You know he can be intimidated, and when it really comes down to it and you pay attention, you can force him into shitty plays (toss him around) and make him blow the game.
"Oh they are making this Joe Flacco's offense." Have you ever heard a quote that made you less scared in your life? That's akin to a burglar breaking into your house shouting, "I am unarmed and very small please don't hurt me, but give me all your shit!" Hey yeah, let's turn the offense over to a middling QB that has never done shit in the playoffs, and turn away from the number one running back in the league (I fucking love Ray Rice). SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA. Hey, and we can say this, and all the analysts will start loving us! Wait, this is genius! Ugh.
End of story: Joe Flacco is the king of putting up numbers and sucking when it matters most. He should marry that fraud Matty Ice. They would be a perfect match.