Mark Sanchez vs Patriots secondary: The Ultimate Shit Show

When Tom Brady takes his offense to the field to face off against a beat up but still potentially dangerous Jets defense, it'll be fun to watch.

When Mark Sanchez takes the field to face the Patriots defense, it'll be fun to watch too. For a completely different reason.

With a quarterback as weak as Sanchez and a defensive secondary as pitiful as the Patriots, it will be the ultimate battle of shit. "Suck versus Suck" in a 60 minute tussle to find out who's more utterly terrible.

I could throw the stats at you about Sanchez's passer rating, his performance last week or how the Patriots are on pace to allow a record number of deep passes this year, but you probably already know them by now. You don't need stats to figure it out. Sanchez sucks, and so does this secondary.

When Sanchez isn't handing off to Shonn Greene for three yards a pop and perpetual 3 and outs, I'm betting the Jets put the ball in Sanchez's shitty arm and let him chuck it all over the field.

It'll be a contest of buffoonery. Will Sanchez's off target throws that fall 5 yards away from their intended target land into the arms of a Patriot defender who happens to be, once again, out of position? How many times will Sanchez throw a pick six on a 3 yard pass behind the line of scrimmage?

Will the Jets bring in Antonio Cromartie, their best corner back [and maybe wide receiver], and throw one deep down the sideline to him, knowing that almost certainly a Patriots DB will be more than willing to ignore the ball and just tackle him for a DPI?

The real insult - and event that might answer the question of, "Who sucks worse, Sanchez or the Pats secondary?" once and for all - is if Tim Tebow ends up throwing a deep pass and completing it to Cromartie. That's their main punt protector burning the Pats for a completion to a cornerback. If that happens I might just jump off a cliff.

In all honesty, I think both sides will win this battle of suckiness, as they do every year. Most of the year, Sanchez has struggled to mimic a competent quarterback. I'm not trying to rip on him, I'm sure most Jets fans will tell you something similar. Yet it seems like every year, no matter how bad Sanchez has looked, he'll put up numbers against the Patriots' embarrassing secondary. On that same token, he seems to also always throw in a few interceptions, fumbles and sacks.

To me, that looks like a tie and a win win. Who sucks? They both suck!