Fantasy Fix: 5 Up/5 Down - Vick-Torius Birds Hit Warp Speed

Monday night football is back, Fantasy Footballer’s. Two games? Philly/DC and San Diego/Houston both proved highly entertaining and, more importantly, highly profitable for us needing a Fantasy Fix. Pass the Advil, I’ve got a pigskin hangover. I kid, I kid. Personally, I can’t get enough of the NFL. With apologies to Hank Williams Jr, while we may have been ready for some football, it appeared the Redskins defense was about as prepared for the high flying Eagles as Bocephus at an ACLU convention.

Chip Kelly’s warp-speed offense put up 322 offensive yards, scored 26 points, posted 21 first downs and staged 53 plays — in the first half. What’s this all mean for us? Good things, my bloodshot eyed friends, good things. Monday night's Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Game was quarterback Michael Vick. Vick put up 25 fantasy points as he went 15-of-25 for 203 yards and 2 touchdowns. Vick also ran 9 times for 54 yards and a TD.  Whether Michael Vick can keep up this fast break pace remains to be seen. He spent a good portion of the second half limping around as the ‘Skins mounted a comeback. Vick’s a viable play going forward, but I like to think long term. Vick is a sell high stock right now and, if he’s your QB2, look to cash him in before Kelly’s hero gets run into the ground.

Here’s the Fantasy Fix 5 up/5 down from Monday night Fantasy Football.

5 Up

1. LeSean McCoy, 24.90 fantasy points: McCoy looks a natural fit in the Kelly blitzkrieg — if he survives. McCoy had 31 carries for 184 yards and a touchdown. It may be just one game, but LeSean is on pace for over 500 touches this year. Someone prepare the IV. Also, someone warn the Chargers what’s coming this Sunday.

2. Matt Schaub, 24.84 points: Schaub completed 34-of-45 passes for 346 yards, three touchdowns, and one interception as he led the Texans to a comeback win in San Diego. Anyone see this coming? 56% of you did as that’s how many of you actually own him. I don’t. I won’t.

3. Phillip Rivers, 24.60 points: Rivers completed 14-of-29 passes for 195 yards and four touchdowns. However, his one interception sold the Chargers chances of winning *holds pinky to mouth* down the river.

4. Robert Griffin III, 21.56 points: RGIII looked human in the first half, but did his thing as the Redskins came back from a 33-7 deficit. Griffin went 30-of-49 passes for 329 yards, two touchdowns, two interceptions and had 24 yards on the ground. Over/under games played by RGIII this year: 10.5? Discuss.

5. Leonard Hankerson, 20.00 points: Who is Leonard Hankerson and why do we care? I thought he was that creepy actor from Aliens. Apparently not. The Hanker (yeah, I’m calling him that) is the Redskins wideout that caught five passes for 80 yards and a touchdown. Let your league mates pick him up.

5 Down

1. Riley Cooper, 1.40 fantasy points: KKKooper caught two passes for 14 yards. This guy is the Eagles No.2 receiver? Here’s hoping Riley pulls a D.B. Cooper and falls out of plane never to be heard from again.

2. Pierre Garçon, 6.40 points: Peter G with the funny “ç” caught just seven passes for 64 yards. Am I the only one that expected more? Pierre gets the Packers on Sunday. Anquan Boldin torched the Pack for 200 yards last week. That’s what we want from a WR2.

3. Vincent Brown, 7.30 points: Brown caught only two passes for 13 yards. Luckily the touchdown catch saved him from fantasy obscurity. “Fantasy obscurity” is also known as the San Diego offense.

4. Arian Foster, 9.00 points: Foster ran 18 times for 57 yards in 55 total plays. Remember earlier when I mentioned my concern over McCoy’s workload? Scroll back up, I’ll wait. *puts feet up, watches Food Network, fantasizes about Giada* Foster has over 1000 rushing attempts in the last three years. Anyone remember Larry Johnson? He went from being a Fantasy God to traveling around in a Rascal by being worked like this.

5. Alfred Morris, 9.40  points: Alfred Morris rushed for 45 yards on 12 carries, had a touchdown, but fumbled twice. Not “butt fumbled”, just lost the ball two times. Either way, we didn’t draft Morris with our first pick to do that. Who do you think you are? BenJarvus Green-Ellis?

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