Week 8 in the NFL was one of tricks and treats, my Fantasy Fixers. Megatron was the fantasy Frankenstein of the week as he went OFF on the Dallas Cowboys and led the league in scoring. If your team faced him, you lost. If your team faced ‘tron, Marvin Jones and Andy Dalton like mine did, you lost by 398 points. The season may be half over, but I’m not ready to surrender the turban just yet.
Let’s check the Fantasy Fix 5 up/5 down from Week 8:
1. The Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Week: Calvin Johnson, 36.90 fantasy points: Megatron caught 14 passes for 329 yards and a touchdown. Double coverage, triple coverage, it didn’t matter. Johnson had catches of 87, 29, 21, 26, 54 and 22 yards. The Cowboys best bet at stopping him would have been a halftime kidnapping. I guess that knee is okay.
2. Marvin Jones, 36.20 points: Who are you, Marvin Jones and where did you come from? Jones had the game of his life as he scored 4 TDs. He’s currently putting together a nice little scrapbook of his game. If Jones scores over 30 points again in his career, I’ll take up fantasy scrapbooking.
3. Drew Brees, 33.18 points: Brees completed 26-of-34 passes for 332 yards and five touchdowns. *Yawn* You’re no Marvin Jones.
4. Andy Dalton, 32.00 points: Dalton completed 19-of-30 passes for 325 yards, five touchdowns, and one interception. The Red Rifle has now scored over 25 points in three straight weeks. Gingers are people, too.
5. Andre Ellington, 22.20 points: Ellington was the top RB of the week as he ran 15 times for 154 yards with a touchdown and caught two passes for eight yards. If you picked the Duke up last month when I told you to, you are smiling today. If you did not, you can always build a hot tub time machine.
5. Jason Witten, 1.50 fantasy points: Witten caught two passes for 15 yards. When the ‘Boys drop 30 points you expect more from Witten. Ticker tease!
4. Dwayne Bowe, 0.70 points: Bowe had one catch for 7 yards. Hurray! Why am I celebrating? I don’t own Bowe anywhere.
3. Michael Vick, 0.30 points: Did you start Vick hoping for fantasy magic? Do you think it’s 2010?
2. Darren Sproles, 0.00 points: Sproles caught four passes for zero yards and didn’t have a carry. Here’s hoping he bounces back against the Jets this week. I own him in 4 leagues and it’s all about me.
1. Rueben Randle, 0.00 points: Randle caught as many balls as you did on your couch last week. None. And you didn’t even have to risk getting a concussion and you had beers and nachos. Being a fan is fun. Being Rueben Randle is not.
Follow The Guru on Twitter for all your Fantasy Football updates: @TheGuruGS