Fantasy Fix: Sunday Wrap - 5 Up/5 Down

Our fake football season is slowly coming to an end, my Fantasy Fixers. Just two more weeks of chronic rosterbating, waiver wire watching and heavy drinking before the battle for the Shiva begins.

Sunday was another visit to the Bizarro World which is the 2013 NFL season. Ryan Fitzpatrick scored more points than guys named Manning, Brees and Newton, a running back cruised for over 200 yards in a loss and a wide receiver owned in 2% of leagues put up 22 Fantasy points. This season is going drive the Guru to morning drinking. *cracks beer, downs it, passes out at keyboard*

Oh, you’re still here… With only one game remaining in Week 12, let’s run down Sunday’s Fantasy studs and duds by position.

FIVE UP 

1.   The Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Week: Josh Gordon, WR, Cleveland Brown, 29.70 Fantasy points: Gordon had 14 catches for 237 yards and a touchdown. There were some “experts” that suggested sitting Gordon this week. I was not one of them. Flash Gordon is king of the impossible. 

2. Knowshon Moreno, RB, Denver Broncos, 29.00 points: Moreno had 37 carries for 224 yards and a touchdown. And the Broncos lost. That happens when your team has to face evil Tom Brady.

3. Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego Chargers, 27.78 points: Rivers completed 27-of-39 passes for 392 yards with three touchdowns and no interceptions. Someone left him on his Fantasy bench this week. That someone just cracked another beer.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers DEF/SP, 23 points: The Steel Curtain returned! Mean Joe Greene, Jack Lambert and company traveled ahead in time to record five sacks, three fumbles, an interception and L.C. Greenwood returned a pick for a score. Hey Joe, want my Coke? It’s ok, you can have it.

5. Jason Witten, TE, Dallas Cowboys, 15.70 points: Witten only caught four passes for 37 yards, but two of those were touchdowns. If 50% of his catches are going to be TDs, why not throw it to him more? Oh, Jason Garrett is your coach. Never mind.

FIVE DOWN 

5.  Geno Smith, QB, New York Jets, 2.98 points: Smith was 9-of-22 for 127-yard day with two interceptions and a fumble. At least he had positive points this week. Somewhere Tim Tebow maniacally laughs to himself.

4. Trent Richardson, RB, Indianapolis Colts, 2.60 points: Richardson rushed for 15 yards on seven carries. T-Rich is obviously lost. May we suggest a career change? Chik-fil-A is hiring.

3. Antonio Gates, TE, Sand Diego Chargers, 2.10 points: Gates had three catches for just 21 yards. When a team puts a 41 on the board we expect a little more than this. Ticker tease!

2. Eric Decker, WR, Denver Broncos, 0.50 points: Decker caught one pass for five yards in frozen Foxborough. That’s only one more catch than I had and it was nice and cozy warm at my house.

1. Kansas City Chiefs DEF/SP, -3.00: When the top D in Fantasy scoring drops a negative number on your team it may be time to take up another game. May I suggest Russian Roulette? *BANG* I was kidding!

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