Fantasy Fix: Week 13 - Waiver Wire Blues
Here we are at Week 13, my Fantasy Fixers. At this point in the season you are either (a) sitting atop the standings mocking us all as we try to decide who start between Branden Bolden and Benny Cunningham (b) you’re still alive for the Shiva, but need to improve your seeding (c) there is no c, or (d) your team sucks and you’re reading this blog because you thought it was link to midget porn. I don’t judge, but that’s kind of weird, man.
Whatever category you fall into – except for you midget porn guy – there is plenty on the line as we push towards the playoffs. It’s time to sing the waiver wire blues and run down the players owned in 50% or less leagues, position-by-position and get your roster ready for some money making.
Quarterback
Josh McCown, (CHI) at Min: McCown, the 34-year-old former high school janitor/assistant coach, has been playing superbly in Jay Cutler’s absence. The matchup against the Vikings is a juicy one this week. However, keep an eye out here, Governor. If Cutler is good to go on Sunday, forget I ever mentioned any of this. I’ll send the men in black guys over if I have to. Fantasy projection: 18 points.
Running Back
Monte Ball, (DEN) at KC: Here’s another one that requires adult roster supervision. Ball will get the call if Knowshon Moreno can’t go Sunday. Moreno was limping around Foxborough on crutches after the Patriots game. That really hurts. No, not Knowshown, my Fantasy teams. I own him everywhere. Enough about me and my problem. Pick up Ball even if it’s so no one else can. Fantasy projections: 6.50 points.
Wide Receiver
Nate Burleson, (DET) vs. GB: I had Burleson as one of my Deep Sleepers last week and if you listened to your Guru’s wise words you picked up almost 14 Fantasy points. If you chose to ignore me, I feel just a little hurt. I won’t let it show. I’m a cryin’ on the inside kinda clown. By the way, pick up Burleson this week. Thank you. Fantasy projection: 9 points.
Tight End
Rob Housler, (ARI) at Phi: Housler is avergaing 8 Fantasy points a game the last three weeks. However, when it comes to finding a tight end this late in the season it’s kind of like pulling the lever down on the one-armed bandit – come one three cherries! Fantasy projection: 7.50 points.
Defense/Special Teams
Cleveland Browns vs. Jac: Jacksonville has given up the 2nd most Fantasy points to Team Defenses this season. If the Fantasy Junkies research department has its facts correct, the Cleveland Browns have a team defense. Perfect. *Editors note: the “research department” comprises of the Guru’s cat and the 1984 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition* Fantasy projection: 11 points.
Kicker
Dan Carpenter, (BUF) vs. Atl: Anyone seen Mr. Dickens and my Sports Illustrated? Fantasy projection: 8.50 points.
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