Fantasy Fix: Sunday Wrap - 5 Up/5 Down

Our fake football season is slowly coming to an end, my Fantasy Fixers. Just one more game on the schedule before most of us battle it out in the Fantasy playoffs. There’s bragging rights on the line, maybe a little cash, perhaps your soul.

*Note to self: do not sell soul for Trent Richardson next year*

That is if you’re in the playoffs. It’s probably too late to make a deal with the devil now for Calvin Johnson and Cam Newton.

With only one game remaining in Week 13, let’s run down Sunday’s Fantasy angels and demons by position.

Five Up

1.   The Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Week: Eric Decker, WR, Denver Broncos, 41.40 Fantasy points: The top three Fantasy scorers this week were wide receivers. If you owned one of them you probably won your week as Alshon Jeffery and Josh Gordon both went for over 30 points. However, Decker gets the game ball for eight catches, 174 yards, and four touchdowns. If your team faced all of these guys, congratulations on a terrible season.

2. Peyton Manning, QB, Denver Broncos, 33.82 points: Broncos, Manning, Broncos. Blah, blah, blah. I’m tired of writing about how many points he and his big red forehead puts up every week because I own him absolutely nowhere. For that reason I will mention that the number two QB Sunday was Cam Newton with 29.32 points. I own him everywhere.  

3. Ben Tate, RB, Houston Texans, 28.20 points: Little man Tate ran 22 times for 102 yards and three touchdowns. He did that with three broken ribs. Real football hurts.

4. Adam Vinatieri, K, Indianapolis Colts, 20 points: The 54-year-old Vinatieri scored from 47, 48, 45 and 37 yards. Who says I don’t love kickers?

5. Zach Ertz, TE, Philadelphia Eagles, 18.80 points: Ertz caught five passes for 68 yards with two touchdowns. If you were one of the 2% of Fantasy ballers to start him I surrender my turban to you. It looks good on you. Just remember to take it off in airports.

Five Down

5. Andrew Luck, QB, Indianapolis Colts, 11.20 points: I could mention the terrible games from Mike Glennon or Geno Smith who both scored less than five points, but if you’re starting those guys now your season is probably toast. That is why Andrew Luck is one of the duds of the week. Owners are expecting a lot more. Now is not the time to suck for Luck.

4. Hakeem Nicks, WR, New York Giants, 3.40 points: Ok, let me get this straight, someone named Junior Hemingway scores over 10 points and Hakeem Nicks catches only two passes?  Fantasy Football can be a very frustrating game. *throws laptop out window*

3. Trent Richardson, RB, Indianapolis Colts, 1.90 points: 13 weeks ago some were arguing whether Richardson was a first round pick or not. If you were one that drafted him I would like to offer my condolences on your lousy season. Need a hug? 

2. Martellus Bennett, TE, Chicago Bears, 1.40 points: Bennett had two catches for 14 yards and the Bears lost. That is all. 

1. Denver Broncos, DEF/ST, 1.00 points: The Broncos can score a lot, but they can’t stop anyone a lot, too. Was that proper English? Who cares. I ain’t sayin’ nuthin’ good about the Broncos.


Have a Fantasy Football question? Want to make fun of Peyton Mannings forehead? Hit the Guru up on Twitter @TheGuruGS