Though it's coming up on three seasons, Super Bowl XLIX is still all-too-easy to remember. One of the most memorable endings to a Super Bowl, many jokes are still made at Seattle's expense for opting to pass in a goal-line situation. (The League's joke from months later still holds up).
With the NFL season fast approaching, Deadspin's Drew Magary is doing the annual "Why Your Team Sucks" previews, which are an absolute must-read for anybody. Today, Magary focused on the Seahawks, and to the surprise of absolutely no one, the "12s" are still hurt about that Super Bowl ending. One story in particular, from reader Michael, stands out to me (language NSFW):
There we were, one fucking yard from rubbing it in Brady’s dumb pretty boy face and cementing ourselves as a dynasty with the greatest defense of all time when our QB, who couldn’t rub two brain cells together before he got concussed, tossed a gimme INT. I was hosting a party and some dude who was the only Pats fan there celebrated so hard he shotgunned a beer and body slammed my coffee table. All in all it was one of the better parties I’ve thrown but fuck that guy and fuck this team.
Lot to unpack in this one. Starts out calling Tom Brady a "dumb pretty boy," and was quick to anoint the Seahawks' defense as the greatest of all time (evidently, this guy hasn't been around for the 1985 Bears or 2000 Ravens). It continues to jab at Russell Wilson's intelligence -- something self-loathing fans of all teams do.
From there, it makes a firewagon change, and delves into a rogue Patriots fan at this party shotgunning a beer and then bodyslamming a coffee table. As if this one Pats fan, in an armada of Seahawks fans, decided to channel his inner Bills fan. To me, this is just incredible, and I'd like to shake this man's hand.
When it comes to historical Super Bowl moments, I, for one, don't think there's a better way to celebrate than shotgunning a cold brew and bodyslamming a coffee table. This fan is evidently the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now.