Three things I need: Super Bowl LII

KnowYourMeme

Here we are. Super bowl 52. The second super bowl in a row for the New England Patriots, and a chance for Tom Brady to get his 6th ring. We want it, and quite frankly, we deserve it. It’s not easy being a member of the New England Patriots. It’s a 24/7 job of grueling preparation and study of the game of football. Some guys can’t hack it, and the ones that can earn every single shred of success that comes to them. That’s what people don’t get. The Patriots aren’t good because they cheat, or because they get lucky. The win because they simply work harder than everyone else. This season has been a battle, but yet again, here they are. You would think that after 5 rings against all the odds, and with the entire world screaming and spitting hate at us, that we would be satisfied. Not on your fucking life. We want 6. We NEED 6.

NUMBER 1. I absolutely NEED, like I need air in my lungs and a beer in my hand…I NEED a first quarter score. For the love of all things holy. This will be Tom’s 8th bowl appearance, and thus far he has failed to score any points in the first quarter in a single one of them. Last year Bill brought it to Tommy’s attention, and in so many words Tom said, “Uhhh ya no shit Bill. I remember the god damn cleats Julius Peppers was wearing on Feb. 1st 2004, you think I’m not privy to the fact that I don’t have a single first quarter score in the super bowl???” I’m sure that reality bothers Tom as much as the idiot fool that dared to insult Tom’s perfect daughter.

I’m sure there are some who say, “well the Pats have never scored in the first quarter and they’re 5-2 in the super bowl. No big deal!”


This has to be the year we change that. Tom is in a groove, the offense is clicking and people are getting healthy. Go out on that field and punch in a score right off the bat. Make the Eagles sweat. Instill the fear in Philly’s heart from the first time you touch the ball. Become wrath.

NUMBER 2. Someone serve me a fresh, delicious, piping hot, right out of the oven turnover of any flavor please. It has been an astounding 4 straight games by the Patriots defense without a defensive turnover. That has literally never happened by a team headed to the super bowl in the NFL’s existence. At the end of the day, in all 4 of those games the Pats have gotten a win. Frankly that’s the only thing that matters. However, it is undeniable how game changing turnovers can be. I’m on record saying that when DIDI fumbled against Jacksonville, that was the first time in that game that a semblance of real fear crept in. Giving away the ball can be back breaking, and if the Patriots defense can do that to Nick Foles and this Eagles offense, it will BURY them.

I think this is a solid Eagles team with a lot of fight. I also think that if the Pats put enough pressure on them, they will fold like origami. Nick Foles doesn’t strike me as a big game performer. If he throws the ball away or puts it on the ground once, dare I say twice, and it will be too much for the Eagles to handle. Take the ball away, and win your freedom.

NUMBER 3. I want an early lead so so badly. This ties into scoring in the first quarter, but I don’t want them to stop there. Score early, and score often. It feels like a lifetime ago that the Patriots had a legitimate lead in a bowl. Against the Falcons they went down 21-0 before scoring a point. Against the Hawks, they scored first sure, but ended up going down 24-14 before coming back in the 4th quarter. Giants part 2 they started the game down 9-0. Giants part 1 was a low scoring shit storm that only ever saw as much as a 4 point lead before our souls were ripped out. The first Eagles bowl was the last time the Patriots saw more than an 8 point lead in a super bowl.

I’m not overlooking this Eagles team by any means. I would never do that. This does, however, feel like a game that the Patriots can outmatch and out play their opponent. The Eagles defense is strong, sure. There’s no denying that. But the Pats have faced stronger. Their last game in fact. This is also the best offense the Eagles have faced all season. This is the perfect game to capitalize and get points on the board early. If Tom can get an early two touchdown lead, I have a hard time believing that Nick Foles possesses the ice in his veins to claw his team back. Introduce some panic in this Eagles team, and then watch them implode from the inside out. Wouldn’t it be glorious to watch Tom raise his 6th Lombardy trophy after being able to kick back and actually enjoy the 4th quarter of a super bowl for once??? Let’s get it. Go Pats.