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Was there a Fantasy team out there not affected by Snowpocalypse 2013? No? I didn't think so. The frozen tundra’s of Green Bay, Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore and Pittsburgh may have decided whether your playoff dreams were realized or simply melted away like Frosty the Snowman in a greenhouse full of poinsettias. Damn you, Professor Hinkle!
With only one game remaining in Week 14, let’s go five up and five down and check the studs and duds position-by-position.
Five Up
1. The Crown Royal Reign On Player of the Week LeSean McCoy, RB, PHI, 34.10 Fantasy points: Snow? What snow. McCoy rushed 29 times for 217 yards and two touchdowns. If you are a McCoy owner headed into the playoffs *puts pinky to mouth* your future’s so bright you gotta wear shades.
2. Andrew Luck, QB, IND, 32.24 points: After only throwing two TDs in his last four games, Luck went off for 326 yards and four touchdowns. If you rolled the dice on the Indy QB Sunday, you had plenty of luck on your side. If your team faced him, you came up snake eyes.
3. Kansas City Chiefs, DEF/ST, 26.00 points: The Chiefs D went all Abominable Snowman and gave the Redskins a total whitewash with six sacks, an interception, a fumble recovery and probably got Mike Shanahan fired. Somewhere RGIII ices his knee and smiles.
4. Marques Colston, WR, NO/Josh Gordon, WR, CLE, 24.50 points:Two wideouts tied for most points at the receiver position as Colston had nine catches for 125 yards and two touchdowns and Gordon caught seven passes for 151 yards and a score. Whaddya mean you own both of them? Bartender, get the lady a drink. *tips turban*
5. Charles Clay, TE, MIA, 21.70 points: Clay caught seven passes for 97 yards, two touchdowns and one giant snow angel.
Five Down
5. Mathew Stafford, QB, DET, 5.82 points: Stafford completed 10-of-25 passes for 148 yards in snow-filled Philadelphia. For the first time all season Stafford was held without a TD. This is what happens to dome teams playing real football outside. Remember this Seattle when you play in New York Super Bowl Sunday.
4. Rob Gronkowski, TE, NE, 3.20 points: Gronk caught two passes then had his ACL blown out and is likely done for the season. As a Patriots fan, this one hurts. Not as bad as Gronk’s knee, but it hurts. ACL stands for all championships lost.
3. Adrian Peterson, RB, MIN, 1.70 points: AP rushed seven times for 13 points in the snow before slip sliding his way into the locker room with a sprained foot. Oh no, there goes your Fantasy season. It’s ok, x-rays were negative and MLB Spring Training is only 60 days away.
2. T.Y. Hilton, WR, IND, 0.70 points: It was a tough day for wide receivers all around, but Megatron, Torrey Smith and Pierre Garcon were playing in the snow. What’s your excuse T.Y.? Hilton caught two passes for seven yards. *slow clap*
1. Cincinnati Bengals DEF/ST, – 1.00 Fantasy points: The Bengals were averaging 12 Fantasy points a game on defense this season and were facing a struggling Andrew Luck. What happened? The Bengals won of course with no help from the D. Why do you mock me Fantasy Gods?!


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The Guru 12/09/2013 07:30:00 AM Edit
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