Pride and Prejudice: Three ridiculous reasons why the Patriots lost

Once again, introducing the wit and vitriol of my friend Al Bedrosian. Al's hobbies include riding dirt bikes, collecting guns, shooting bows and arrows, drinking cheap but not light beer and watching youtube videos of engines starting up. When he gets a spare moment, he also watches the Patriots. Back by popular demand, here's what he thinks of them.

It’s happened again. For the first time in three years the Patriots have lost two in a row. Now, for a normal team like the Kansas City Chiefs or the Minnesota Vikings, two to five game skids are a regular occurrence. But this isn’t a regular team. This is the team of the 21st century. This is the New England Patriots, a team that wins so much they have a hard time remembering when they lost. Being right all the time is a wonderful thing, it allows you a certain degree of arrogance that others just can’t question and it reminds everyone else that you are just a little bit better them. It's a warm comforting feeling.

But everyone has a weakness. The Patriots' weakness, much like their organization, is unique. The Patriots didn’t lose because of poor play calling or missed opportunities, they lost because it was part of the plan. So without further ado, The Pride and the Prejudice proudly presents three ridiculous reasons why the Patriots lost.

1. Winning is a losing proposition.

If you think about it, there isn’t much difference between the pre-season and the post-season. More than half of the fans don’t watch it and if your team loses nothing happens. Sure they don’t win a Super bowl and some players get cut, a coach might get fired and a team might move to a different city, but that's it.

Sound familiar?

Here’s my point. Football just like life is a zero sum game. So why kill yourself trying to change the numbers. Over the past 15 seasons the Patriots have missed the post season twice. Over that same stretch of time the Bills haven’t made it once, is there a difference there? Yes...but not by much.

2. Winning is expensive

The regular season for the NFL is 16 games. With all four pre-season games we are at 20 games, with the playoff including the wild card we are at 23, and the Super bowl we hit 24. If for some unfortunate reason you play for a team that consistently backs into the playoffs to win Super bowls (New York Giants we are looking at you) then you have to realize that’s a hell of a lot of games to play.

Now, if you’re a hard working schlep down on the line, this is great news. You get paid by the game and everyday you are playing football that’s another day you are not cutting lawns. BUT if you’re a top paid 10 million a year super star, you get paid by the season and your season just got extended by anywhere from 3 to 4 games. This is costing you money, Brah! You really think Tom Brady does anything for free, hell no. He is tired of playing all those playoff games for free while the rest of the league laughs it’s way to the bank. No, this year we are recouping some losses by losing. Plain and simple.

3. The day of Infamy

It is fitting that this loss happened on the night of the waning moon, in the year following a spectacular Super Bowl win, in a season that could be considered Brady’s best. A mediocre team solemnly marches into the cold dark depths of Gillette stadium, the men donned their silver helmets, the banners blew proudly in the wind, the crowd screamed at the cold challenging the mean mistress of winter.

This had the makings of a classic Patriots blow out, 45-10. We had it won, we had the gold in hand, we just had to get it out of the ground. So what happened, I’ll tell you what happened it’s all part of the plan. Remember, In Bill We Trust, we didn’t lose because we were out coached; we lost because we were coached to lose. No team has ever beaten the Patriot’s twice in a single season while under Bill Belichick, there’s a reason we lost those nights and now that we are sitting comfortably in the third seed will be able to sit back and play all the play off games on the road, which where the Patriots REALLY excel!