Best week ever / Worst week ever: Pats at Dolphins

Well that was a big ole’ pile of dooky. What an absolute joke. There’s no need to fly off the handle or press the panic button, but I’m also not here to be the classic cocky fan and act like nothing happened. The Pats are going to be fine. I know that. If we beat Pitt next week, then this loss in Miami is simply meaningless. BUT. That game was a dumpster fire, and some things need to be addressed.




There were so many down right pathetic performances last night. Three stood out to me in order of how much they made me want to puke. Here they are in order of full blown projectile vomit, to throwing up in my own mouth and swallowing it in disgust.

Tom Brady. Go home and do some TB12 yoga to sweat off the stink. Tom is now 7-9 in Miami and to be perfectly honest, I find that embarrassing. I know it’s hard to win football games. It’s harder to win AFC games. And it’s even harder than that to win road AFC East games. At some point, however, it starts to get pathetic when we know that Tom might lay an egg against a HORRID Miami Dolphins team.

Last week I said Brady needed to cut the shit with these picks to BUM teams and players. Well he apparently isn’t reading the blog, because his picks last night were putrid. Under thrown, lofted balls into double coverage, and now Tom Brady has thrown 2 picks in a game to Champ Bailey….Oh wait sorry…Xavien Howard. Some idiot fool who didn’t have a career INT until last week.

Brady now has 27 TDs and 6 INTs on the season.

That’s some Blake Bortles shit. Tom now has picks in his last 3 games, 5 of his 6 to AFC East opponents, and is flirting with throwing less than 33 TDs in a season. Remember when we were talking about an MVP season?? Yikes.

My biggest problem with Tom Brady’s poop diaper of a game is his inability to adjust when he loses his best friends. The beginning of the season we lost Jules, and it took Tom a long time to adjust. Now we lost Gronk for a week, and Tom goes out there with no clue where to throw the ball. Gronk got suspended a week ago. Did we not plan for an offense without him?? The fact that we went 0-11 on third down was insult to injury. First time not converting a third down in Brady’s career. Doing that against Miami is downright pathetic.

Next on the hit list is Josh McDaniels. That was without a doubt the worst offensive game plan we’ve ever seen from Josh. With the absence of Gronk, we all expected to see a lot of 4 wide receiver sets, empty back fields, and plenty of slip screens. Well you would assume wrong. All night Josh paraded out the strangest offensive packages that gave Brady limited options and no time to throw the ball. 

Dion Lewis might have been the one decent performance on the field for the Pats last night. He was productive early and every time he touched the ball. Lewis managed positive yardage essentially every time his number was called, and yet McDaniels refused to give it to him.

Josh capped off his horrid performance on the last offensive drive of the game. When we needed 10 points, the seemingly obvious move was to kick the field goal and leave more time on the clock for a final drive after hopefully getting the onside kick. Instead Josh kept marching and then called the most brain-dead bootleg call on first and goal from the 1 yard line. A truly mind-blowing move that was a fitting end to the worst game of the season.

Finally, our last man on the podium of disgust is Brandin Cooks, who after last night, may have outed himself as a player who can only make a difference when Gronk is drawing double coverage all game, giving him more space to get free. Two weeks in a row now Cooks has less than 3 receptions for less than 40 yards. When we traded a first round pick for this guy, that is NOT what I signed up for.

With Gronk out of the lineup, Cooks should have strapped on his big boy shoes and had a monster game. Instead he got absolutely BEASTED by some no name chump to the tune of 2 INTS and only 1 catch. That’s a piss poor showing. Cooks’s production has been a hot topic around New England. There are plenty of people that are full blown team Cookie members, and I for one am not sure why. Being a number 1 receiver means something to me. Personally, finishing the season with 65 catches for 1100 yards and 6 or 7 tuddies does not make you worthy of a first round pick.

Official David Harris snap count through week 14: 151
Weekly “Is David Harris Alive?”: Inactive. Those close to him concerned…