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Matthew J. Lee / The Boston Globe
I want to start off by saying it wasn't THAT hot on Sunday. Temps hit 86 degrees in Foxborough per the article in question, but I did hear on the national broadcast that it was over 90. That's not a cool, fall day by any means, but it's not "oh my god, that's too hot" hot. Go to a sporting event in Miami in the summer one time for me.

But I'm not here to side with the stadium on this one, because this is a baaaaaad look. Basically, Gillette staff knew it would be hot so they doubled the amount of water bottles usually stored in concessions during a game. Turns out they needed four times the normal amount to satiate these Pats fans. That's the New England way. F you, water. You want to be the best, you gotta beat the best, and we're the best. Holla if you hydrate.

So how does Gillette Stadium handle running out of water bottles in the first half? By giving away tap water of course. But they don't have those small "water cups" like everywhere else on earth, so they have to fill up soda cups. Naturally, they proceed to charge $4.50 for said cup of TAP WATER.

Fans took to Twitter to shower (see what I did there?) the Patriots with praise for this innovative and progression water decision.




I'm actually not as shocked to hear this story as everyone else. Don't get me wrong, it's ludicrous to charge that. Gillette has already apologized, as they should have, and this will never happen again. They will be better prepared in the future, and if they do run out again, tap water will be offered for free. But the only thing more ludicrous than charging $4.50 for tap water is paying $4.50 for tap water.

Going to twitter and voicing your outrage in 140 characters or less is one thing, but I would have made a SCENE up in there. No chance in hell I'm breaking off an Abe Lincoln for luke warm tap water out of the Gillette concession stand sinks that they use to dump the sludge they call nacho cheese. Yea RIGHT dude.

These fans were done a major disservice, but it takes two to tango. I hope all of them took a good look in the mirror when they got home, especially Jim Kappos who spent FORTY FIVE DOLLARS. Are you high dude? You better have had small children with you who were close to sun stroke, because 45 smackeroos could get you, like, 4 beers.

Tangent: Strap in for a JO rant real quick. FUCK the "water cup." I've never been in a bigger mental battle against anything in my life. I'm a big, I refuse to pay for water guy. It's water. It's free. Even when I'm thirsty and all I want is a water, if we are at a convenient store I will buy a Gatorade or something. I don't even want it. I want water. But not for a buck fifty I don't. And I'm an even bigger, just get water guy. Drink a ton of the stuff. Love it. Keeps me alive and my body at sustained peak performance. (on chapter 3 by the way, hope everyone's reading)

We all know restaurants, movie theaters, etc all up-charge the shit out of drinks. "That's where they get ya" as my boy Feegs always says. So it's their nightmare when you ask for water, because they give it up for free. To combat this, they make it is unappealing as humanly possible. If I ask for a water cup at a local fine eatery like, say, Papa Ginos, the dude hands me a Dixie cup like he's Garth fucking Algar.


They're saying sure thing bro, but now you gotta fill this up like 30 times if you want to get enough water, and it's a clear cup so don't even think about putting soda in here. Don't think I wont see the bubbles if you get Sprite. Don't touch that Sprite tab. Don't even look at it.

It's a cheap tactic, and it's rude, and selfish, and insulting. If I want to have water because I want to live and have some teeth left to identify me by when I go out in a blaze of glory then by god you should let me. Does corporate greed know no bounds?? Just give me a real cup so I can fill it with as much water as I want. I would love to see a study that shows how many people they actually deter with the bitch cup. It's probably more than I would care to know/admit, but for those of you out there like me. We are HEROES. Don't give up the good fight. Get the water cup. Fill it up over and over. Fight the man. With each sip we take, we get closer to a full sized water cup. Never give up and we will win the day. You gotta believe boys! You gotta believe!

Johnny O 9/26/2017 08:17:00 PM Edit
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