Elandon Roberts scores a touchdown and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

Charlie Sheen
I didn't really get this t-shirt, but it's awesome.  The Patriots are certainly not winning and Bill Belichick = not happy.  My man, my guy, my fullback, Elandon Roberts scores his first offensive touchdown and we talkin bout losing to the Dolphins?  Dog shit.  I was so excited watching Roberts run, I was running along with him, in my living room, dry humped the TV stand, then punched my Christmas tree, all in an expression of joy.  Mrs TC was away of course.  So now we have to play on wildcard weekend, are you shittin me?  It's not the Patriots losing that gets me, I can handle it.  It's the joy that other fanbases get out of it.  Maybe it's karma on me for ranting like a crazy person for so many years about how stupid, ass backwards and hopeless they are.  It could be that this just may not be the year, although every year seems like it is, amirite?  This is certainly not the best Patriots team we've seen, but they have character.  Every season seems to breed new, younger players that get hungry for that Lombardi trophy.

I'm really alright if this isn't a Super Bowl winning season.  We can't win it all the time, you know.  But I'll be damned if I see some country bumpkin, douche bag, mouth breathing heathens celebrate the death of my franchise.  Ain't gonna happen pally, not on my watch.  I'm fully prepared to empty my arsenal of insults at any and all fanbases, but I want you all with me.  We don't stoop to levels of calling others "cheaters".  We will point out the obvious, the insecurities, immoral and downright stupid asses they are.  You have too many teeth in your mouth, I'm calling you on it.  Not enough, going there too.  Bald, too easy, but I'll go there.  You murder someone like Ray Lewis (allegedly), I'm going there.  Reminds me of a conversation I had with a barback when I bartended.

Barback:  So, what kind of games are you into?
TC:  You asking me about video games?
Barback: Yeah.
TC:  I don't play video games, I have sex.

Humble brag yes, has nothing to do with anything I wrote, just crossed my mind is all.  I also just got the new Iphone 11, I know, how posh, but lemme tell ya somethin Brian, Mr and Mrs TC work hard for their awesome stuff, and we ain't playin video games, heyoooooo!


A horse is a pig, dat don't fly straight, follow me on Twitter @tc1three