Pro Tip: When you're built like a wet noodle, don't threaten professional athletes

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The number one thing I hate since Al Gore invented the internet is fake tough guys.  This generation that has grown up simply posting words online to create this narrative that they are so bad ass, you simply better not mess with them.  This goof, Parlay Patz, has threatened athletes ranging from college basketball players to our beloved New England Patriots.  His threats include rape, murder and torture of family members while throwing in some racial slurs to complete the scumbag trifecta.

***Humble brag warning*** Now you know your uncle TC is an older fella, however I am in tip top shape benching 350 and deadlift 425.  These are not just words spewed out on the internet, these are facts.  Lemme tell ya Patz, you skinny jeans size 28 wearing, creatine chugging, why am I so skinny wondering weasel.  You threaten physical specimens who are freaks of nature, you can't be lookin like you do.  I could easily tie your arms into a knot and eat you like a pretzel.  I hate the fact that I'm writing a blog about you to give you relevance, but it makes me happy to see what you look like.  Some people just need to be humbled by a good ole fashioned ass whoopin, not that I'm condoning violence against anyone.  I also fear that with one punch, he would not only cry uncontrollably, but crumble like my piece of shit fence on a windy day.


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